Our family had some sad news recently as our older step brother, Spike, passed away. He was 13 years old and a bulldog, a grumpy one at that, and to be honest because he was a lot older than both Luca and I, we didn’t play with him much but we do kinda miss him and I know Mum and Dad really do a lot. Before he was too poorly Mum said that we need make sure he tells us some of his stories, of his younger years, because he did have an interesting life. He had travelled a fair amount and Mum didn’t want his life to get forgotten. So my repawt for this month is in honour of an extremely grumpy, miserable but natural comedian of a bulldog called Spike.
He was born and bred in England and lived there until he was 4 years of age. Then Mum and Dad decided to do a little bit of travelling and of course Spike went with them. First of all there was France for 6 months. ‘Wow’, I said – I was impressed with that. ‘Did you go up the Eiffel Tower? I bet the views over Paris were to die for and don’t get me started on the shopping’. ‘No’, he said he hadn’t and then proceeded to tell me France isn’t all about Paris and the Eiffel Tower. ‘It’s about good wine and good food. Some of the wines I tried over there were fantastic – I seem to remember a particularly good dessert wine, very sweet’. ‘Oh Spike’, I said, ‘never mind about the wine, what about the countryside, the rivers, any good walking?’ ‘Well, I did canoe down the Dordogne river don’t you know’. ‘Oh la la’, I said, ‘How far did you go?’ ‘Oh a couple of miles’, was his answer. ‘A couple of miles’ I said. ‘Spike, I am a water dog. I do that in my sleep!’ ‘Yes, but you haven’t done it in France have you’, he pointed out. Damn – he had me on that one.
After that was Ireland. ‘Oh to be sure to be sure’, I said, at which point Spike got seriously huffy and said, ‘If you are not going to take me seriously, Cocoa, I am not going to continue’. ‘Oh, go on Spike, you can have my ball for 10 minutes if you tell me what Dublin was like’. ‘Cocoa, if I wanted your ball I would just take it – you can’t bribe me’. Oh, he has a point there, but he then went on to say that he didn’t actually go to Dublin – he got waylaid trying out the Jameson’s whiskey in Cork. ‘Oh, then there was the Guinness, where they draw a four leaf clover on the top of the drink’. ‘A four leaf what and what’s the point of that on top of your drink?’ Surely you just want a drink not taste leaf material at the same time?!
The other place he really loved, he said, was Andorra. Gosh, that’s a ski resort, being the active a girl that I am – I like the idea of whizzing down the slopes, the wind in my ears, with all the latest gear on. ‘So how was it Spike? Did you fall off much?’ ‘Well, no I didn’t actually make it onto a board as I was too busy sampling the après ski in the bar – those flaming sumbuccas went down a treat!’ Flaming what?!
Then there was Spain. ‘Well, I suppose I know what you did in Spain as I have been with you for the majority of it’. ‘No’, says Spike, ‘you didn’t go to Granada did you?’ ‘Granada, that’s where the Alhambre Palace is, isn’t it? It’s supposed to be very interesting. Weren’t parts of it built in 1238?’ ‘Well I don’t know about that’, says Spike, ‘we got sidetracked with the beer in one of the bars. The tapas went down well too – I loved their albondybondies’. ‘Albondybondies? Oh, do you mean Albondigas? Spanish meatballs?’ ‘Whatever’, says Spike.
‘Hang on a minute Spike, all these places you have been too, did you actually do anything more than hang about in bars, drink copious amounts of alcohol and eat loads?’
However, my question was too late as Spike, having worn himself out, was now snoring loudly, no doubt dreaming of where else is good to visit and what alcohol they specialise in!
Woofs Cocoa, foreign news correspondent, repawting for The Barking Bugle, Tuffdogs Stuff and Cocoa & Luca handmade dog accessories.